Client: My fiancé and I are unhappy with the engagement photos you sent us.
Me: What’s wrong with them?
Client: We’re wearing sweat pants in them!
Me: But that’s what you wore to the shoot. I asked you on the day if you wanted to change into something more appropriate and you said no.
I am a (female) fashion designer. I create unique dresses, mostly for cocktail parties and weddings.
Me: So here is my quote for the cocktail gown that we discussed last week.
Client: Thanks… I understand the lines for fabric and other material, but what is the last line about?
Client: Why would you assume I wanted the columns to be vertical?
Me: I - I’m sorry, how did you want them?
Client: Obviously, I wanted horizontal columns.
Me: Like rows?
Client: Exactly like rows!
A client and I were discussing which photos to upload to his website.
Client: I’ll get all the photos to you ASAP so you can edit them as agreed.
Me: Sounds great.
After five hours, I still hadn’t received any photos, so I rang the client.
Me: Hi - have you got those photos?
Client: I need you to create an interactive planning app on the web page, like Google calendar.
Me: Why not?
Client: We don’t use scripts.
Me: You want a fully interactive app without scripts?
Client: Yeah. I don’t trust scripts. The word bugs me.
From an animated YouTube series I was a voice actor on:
Client: Hey, I just wanted to let you know that [a fellow cast member] killed himself last night.
Me: Oh my God! That’s terrible!
Client: It’s okay, I’ve sent out emails to potential replacements, and we should be back on track…
Client: “I don’t want to download it. Just give it to me over the phone.”
Me: “It’s a computer program, I can’t give it to you over the phone. I can mail you a DVD, or I can tell you how to safely download it over the internet.”
Client: “Look, I’m not downloading anything, and I’m not getting…